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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

What watching PORN teaches us



  • Women wear high heels to bed.
  • Men are never impotent.
  • When "going down" on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
  • If a woman gets caught masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment; instead she will insist he have sex with her.
  • Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
  • Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
  • Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
  • WOMEN SCREAM AND GRAB THE MAN'S ASS CLOSER TOWARDS THEM. causing more moaning.
  • Women always orgasm when men do.
  • All women are noisy cummers; often they will announce when it is happening.
  • People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
  • Those tits are real. Period.
  • A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. Spanking is also a turn-on.
  • Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
  • If there are two of Men present, they will "high five" each other. (and the girl won't be disgusted!)
  • Double penetration makes women smile.
  • Asian men don't exist.
  • If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't beat you to death if you shove your penis in his girlfriend's mouth.
  • There's never a plot.
  • When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
  • Nurses tend to suck patients' cocks as an exam method.
  • Men always pull out, and can hold until the money shot.
  • When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before joining both of you.
  • Women never have headaches... or periods.
  • When a woman is sucking off a man, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it", lest she forget what she is doing.
  • Anuses are perpetually clean.
  • Everyone's penis is bigger than yours.
  • Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a penis there.
  • When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
  • A Penis joke is an appropriate lead-in to the so-called "nasty".
  • Geeks never have to beg.
  • Every girl on the planet is bi
  • When women are having their last orgasm, it's important to show a close-up of the man's face for all of it.
  • Pubic hair is just a myth.
  • sleeping is discouraged unless you're over 65
  • All Women secretly desire anal sex


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