Hello you Jovial People !

Please click on Blog Surfer button to your left to make this blog No. 1 in the surfer list. Thank you.

Warning - Do not share with the Boss (or wife) !!

Check out the Advert Banners too - never know when info comes handy.....


Tuesday, December 20, 2016

When I got drunk before I drove !!



DRINK DRIVING WARNING !
Please share with your friends 


Last night I was out for a few drinks with the boys in town. One thing lead to another and I had way too many beers topped off with a couple of Jaegerbombs. Not a good idea!!

Knowing I was way over the limit, I did something I’ve never done before...I left my car in town and took a bus home. 

Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalizer tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived back at home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise..

I've never driven a bus before and I'm fucked if I know where I got it from or what I'm gonna do with it !


Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Life's Kamasutra !





1. Kamasutra says : If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
2. Did you ever notice: everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs and lower body with a "P" Peticoat, panties, pussy... That's origin of "BP"!
3. Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.


4. Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
5. What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
6. 3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
7. Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.
8. Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..!


9. When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!". But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!".
*Moral: Hard work is never appreciated: Only result matters.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Akbar, Birbal and the Idiots

Click the Share Buttons and share your laughs 



Akbar asked Birbal to look for five biggest idiots in his state and produce them in his court within a month.

After a month's extensive search operations, Birbal brought to the court only two persons.
"But I asked for five", Akbar angrily asked. "Give me a chance to present them one by one", Birbal pleaded and went on to present his idiots:


"Maharaj, this man, while travelling in a bullock cart, was keeping his luggage on his head so as not to hurt the bullocks. He is the first idiot.Pointing to the second man Birbal continued, "And this man here is the second idiot. Some grass grew on the roof of his thatched house and he was trying to force his cow climb up a ladder to graze on them."

Birbal continued, "Maharaj, there were a lot of important jobs for me to do in the state, but I ignored them and wasted a precious month in searching for idiots. According to me I am the third idiot."

Birbal paused here for a moment.


"Who are the fourth and fifth idiots?", Akbar thundered.

"Beg your pardon, Maharaj", Birbal continued, "You are the king and are responsible for the well being of the entire state and its people. You need wise persons to help you oversee the state affairs. Instead of looking for wise people you engaged me to look for idiots. According to me you are the fourth idiot.


And, Maharaj, the person who is glued to this blog site, keeping aside all his high priority assignments, oblivious of pressing needs of his family,  just to learn who is the fifth idiot, is the fifth idiot himself. You will not find a better idiot to beat this  one. What do you say, Maharaj?", Birbal concluded.

Akbar said, "Post it immediately in all groups, Social media and where ever possible. Lots of idiots are eagerly waiting".

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Michelle Obama for President in 2020



OK - This is not a joke guys....

If we really want a female president for the United States of America, here is your chance...

Let's start the campaign now...

Use hashtag  - #MichelleObama2020


Monday, October 17, 2016

Pakistani Johnny in USA School



A Pakistani Boy took admission in an American school

Teacher : What's your name ?
Boy : Nadir Teacher
Teacher : No, new you are in America, your name is Johnny from today.

Boy went home and started a general conversation with his mother on how things turned out that day and then the name change topic pops up... 

Mother : How was the day Nadir ?
Boy :  I am American now, So please call me Johnny.

The dad over heard the conversation and the argument that followed ended up with the boy getting beaten by both the parents.

The next day he was back at school all bruised...


Teacher : what happened Johnny ??
Boy : Madam, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani Terrorists. 

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Corvette Convertible Fast or Not ?

Enjoy and Share with your friends too....


An Old man decided to buy a Corvette convertible. His memory of good younger days.

As he drove down the highway, he floored it to 80 and smiled. He was cherishing the moment with flashes of his yesteryear's running through his mind, 

Suddenly, he sees a trooper chasing him. He puts his foot down more and starts driving faster before he realized that it wasn't right and stopped.


The trooper came up to the window, looked at his watch and says, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. If you can give me a good reason why you were speeding that I haven't heard before, I won't give you a ticket".

The man paused for a while..... looked around, and with a release of sigh said... "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. When I saw you coming up behind me I thought that it was you and that you were bringing her back.. ".

"Have a Good day Sir" is all the trooper said... 

Popular Posts