All about having a shower !

How To Shower Like a Woman :

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• Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
• Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
• Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
• Get in the shower.
• Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 
• Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 
• Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 
• Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
  
• Rinse conditioner off hair.
• Shave armpits and legs.
• Turn off shower.
• Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
• Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
• Get out of shower.
• Dry with towel the size of a small country.
• Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
• Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

 

How To Shower Like a Man :

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• Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
• Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
• Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
• Get in the shower.
• Wash your face.
• Wash your armpits.
• Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
• Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 
• Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 
• Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap
• Wash your hair.
• Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
• Wee.
• Rinse off and get out of shower.
• Partially dry off.
• Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
  
• Admire willy size in mirror again.
• Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,light and fan on. 
• Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. 
• Throw wet towel on bed.