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Women are basically greedy. They want all things from one man. While men are so simple that they want only one thing from all women.

There was this guy sunbathing in the nude at the beach. Well, this little girl comes up to him, so he covers his private parts with a newspaper. 

The little girl says, 'What's under there?' 

The man answers, 'A bird.' 

The girl goes away and the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he is in a hospital and in great pain. 

A doctor comes up to his bed and asks, 'What happened?' 

The man answers, 'I don't know. I was at the beach and I fell asleep after talking to a little girl.' 

So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they get there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man.  

She answers, ' I didn't do anything to the man, but while he was sleeping, I played with his bird. After a while, it spit at me, so I broke its neck, burned its nest, and smashed all its eggs!'

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "TWO PROSTITUTES — $50.00."

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.


Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."

One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?!"

"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."


So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.

The following day found the same cop in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again.

Figuring he had an easy bust, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which read:

"TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER — $50.00."