PUNS FOR THE EDUCATED MIND !!

Really?? Educated???

• The  fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired  his size from too much pi. 

 

• I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an  optical Aleutian .  

 

• She was  only a whiskey maker, but he loved her  still. 

 

• A rubber band  pistol was confiscated from algebra class for being a weapon of math  disruption. 

 

• No matter how  much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 

 

• A grenade  thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum  Blownapart. 

 

• Two silk worms  had a race. They ended up in a  tie. 

 

• A recent news report  indicates that a hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are  looking into it. 

 
 

• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit  flies like a banana. 

 

• Atheism is a non-prophet  organization. 

 

• Two hats were hanging on a hat  rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a-head.' 

 

• I wondered why the baseball kept  getting bigger. Then it hit me. 

 

• A sign seen on the lawn at a drug  rehab center: 'Keep off the Grass.' 

 

• What do you call a soldier who  survives mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned  veteran. 

 

• A backward poet writes  inverse. 

 

• In a democracy it's your vote that  counts. In feudalism it's your count that  votes. 

 

• Did you hear what happened when  the cannibals ate the missionary?  They got a taste of  religion. 

 

• If you jumped off a bridge in  Paris , you'd be in Seine.

 

• A vulture boards an airplane,  carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry,  sir, only one carrion allowed per  passenger.' 

 

• Two fish swim into a concrete  wall. One turns to the other and says  'Dam!' 

 

• Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak  were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving  once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it  too. 

 

• Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says,  'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies,  'Yes, I'm positive.' 

 

• There was the person who sent ten  puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them  laugh. No pun in ten did.