They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and
it's true.
As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.
Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed.
But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed.
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll leave u.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr : Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr : No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
Wife: Darling, today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes, and then sit down and meditate for an hour, as to where we went wrong upto date, and start afresh!
What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
'Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything!'
What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in
casinos?
The ones in the casinos are stupids, but their prayers are serious.
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
Knowingly committed sin is never forgiven, so,do not waste your time to do a confessional!
A little boy went up to his father and asked : 'Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?'
His father replied,
'Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine.'
Jimmy's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying : 'Jimmy seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.'
The mother wrote back the next day, 'If you find a solution, please advise him and let
me know, I have the same problem with his father!'
As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.
Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed.
But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed.
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll leave u.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr : Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr : No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
Wife: Darling, today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes, and then sit down and meditate for an hour, as to where we went wrong upto date, and start afresh!
What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination?
'Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything!'
What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in
casinos?
The ones in the casinos are stupids, but their prayers are serious.
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
Knowingly committed sin is never forgiven, so,do not waste your time to do a confessional!
A little boy went up to his father and asked : 'Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?'
His father replied,
'Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine.'
Jimmy's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying : 'Jimmy seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.'
The mother wrote back the next day, 'If you find a solution, please advise him and let
me know, I have the same problem with his father!'
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