Joke on Poor Man by Rich Man !

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens' fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."

Oklahoma !

How do you pronounce Oklahoma?
Do you think it's correct?

There is a right way and a wrong way
to pronounce Oklahoma.

If you say OK...LAHOMA
You're WRONG.

The proper way is:
OKLA...HOMA.  
There's a gap between
the 'a' and the 'h'.

I can prove it!   




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Instant Messaging i phone Party Invitation !

This is a funny party invitation on iphone - read the full conversation - Awesome !

Wonderful Definitions !

School

A place where Parents pay and children play .

Life Insurance

A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:

A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills .

Marriage

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters...

Divorce

Future tense of Marriage.

Tears

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power...

Lecture

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" .

Conference

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary

A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father

A banker provided by nature.

Criminal

A person no different from the rest

....except that he/she got caught.

Boss

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after .

DOCTOR

A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic

Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile

A curve that can set a lot of things straight .

Office

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience

The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb

An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher

A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.