The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and
goes to Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard
a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast,
and we have been administering an entrance
examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you
can get into Heaven.'
Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever
told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope the test ain't too hard.
Life was a big enough test as it was.'
St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
questions.
First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:
What is God's first name?'
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees
St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think
the questions over, tell me your answers.'
Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with
the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.'
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was
thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will
give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.
'How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about that,
and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'
Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in
Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year ?
Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve:
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '
'Hold it', interrupts St.Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see
your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to
give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final
question.'
'Can you tell me God's first name'?
'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.'
'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. 'Ok, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but
just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of
God?'
You are going to love this ...
'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from
the hymns
ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'
