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Saturday, May 23, 2015

Best marriage jokes !




(1) Put your wife in a room & lock it.
      Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
      Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you ! 
(Group members are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog!!) 
 
Don't laugh loud ----  
The extended version says... 




 
2) Put your husband in a room & lock it.
    Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
    Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you'll be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before!!! 
 

3) Always keep your spouse’s picture as mobile screen saver.
   Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say:
   "if I can handle this, I can handle anything!"… Superb Attitude for Life!!  
 

(4) If wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable.
     If husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.  
 
(5) A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- "Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…
     “Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the life…"!!!!  
 

(6) Million Dollar Truth:
     If Saturday and Sunday doesn't excite you, then change your Friends.
     If Monday doesn't motivate you, then change your profession.
     If Monday is too exciting, and you are dying to get to work, then you should     

     
change your spouse!! 



 
(7) Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married? That was common sense leaving your body.

 
(8)Generally a man does not go to the place again where he has been cheated once…
But many people still go to their in-laws place..????
 
(9) Pappu: Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!
     Dad: What role are you playing?
    Pappu: A husband!
     Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!
 
(10) Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word”.
     Man inside: “I am talking to my wife” 


 
(11) A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage..
       She said- “sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot”
 
(12) Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!
 
(13) Best one line ad by a married man on OLX:
      "For Sale – Wedding Suit, used only once by Mistake……" 

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