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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Why I want a Divorce

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me...

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Boss and Secretary

Boss hired a sexy secretary.

10 days later he committed suicide by jumping from his 27th floor office.

Police: Who was there at that time in the room?

Secretary: I was there.

Police: What happened? Why did he commit suicide?

Secretary: He was a good man. One day he bought me a fur coat for $ 20000 then he bought me a diamond necklace for $150000 then he bought me a diamond ring for $50000.
Today he asked me to spend the night with him. I told him I charge just $100 a night....and he just went to the window and jumped !

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