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Thursday, October 31, 2013

Halloween Jokes !

Q: What do ghosts eat for supper?
A: Spooketi

Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween!!

Q: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?
A: Spelling.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.

 Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have any guts!

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no BODY to go with.

Q: What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
A: “Trike or Treat”?

Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A: A plumpkin.

Q: What room does a ghost not need?
A: A living room!

Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!

Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
A: His “ghoul” friend!

Q: Why is Superman’s costume so tight?
A: Because he wears a size “S”.

Q: What do you get if you cross a cow and a monster?
A: An “udder” disaster!

Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!

Q: What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
A: A sandwich!

Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A nectarine!

“Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf.”
“Please be quiet and comb your face.”

Q: What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
A: I scream!

Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
A: When you’re a mouse.

Q: What do birds say on Halloween?
A: Twick o tweet

Q: What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?
A: A cocker poodle boo.

Q: What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
A: Mummies!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?
A: Booberries!

Q: What does a skeleton say before dinner?
A: Bone appetit!

Q: What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
A: Scarespray!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
A: Boo-Jeans.

Q: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have a lot of spirit.

Q: What did one owl say to the other owl?
A: Happy Owl-ween!

Q: Why is a skeleton so mean?
A: He doesn’t have a heart.

Q: What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A: A fence.

Q: What did the ghost say to the other ghost?
A: Do you believe in humans?

Q: What do vampires take when they are sick?
A: Coffin drops!

Q: What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
A: Count Quackula!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite pie?
A: Booberry pie!

Q: Where do ghosts buy their food?
A: At the ghost-ery store!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Shark Attack Facts !

Why do Sharks swim circles around you before attacking?

Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors of a sunken ship.

"Follow me, son." the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few more times with all of our fins showing." And they did.

"Now we eat everybody." And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"

His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Winter Weather Forecast !

It was autumn, and members of a Native American Indian tribe asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a new Chief in a modern society and had never been taught the old secrets of Nature, he looked up at the sky and had no clue what to do. 

To play it safe, he replied to his tribe that the winter could definitely be cold and that they should collect firewood early, just to be prepared. So, the members began gathering wood.

Being a practical leader, he figured he should also use the resources available to the modern society. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, “Will this winter be cold?”

“As of now, it looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,” the forecaster said.

So the Chief went back to his tribe and told them to collect even more wood. A week later he called the National Weather Service again and asked for an update.

“Yes,” the man at National Weather Service again replied, “based on incoming data, this winter is looking to be colder than we expected.” The Chief was surprised, but again went back to his tribe, told them that this might be a very cold winter, and asked them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

One week later, the Chief called the National Weather Service yet again, hoping for a new answer. 

“Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”

“Positive,” the man replied. “It’s going to be one of the coldest winters ever.”

“Really?” the shocked Chief exclaimed. “How can you be so sure?”

“First,” the forecaster replied, “The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.”

Thursday, October 10, 2013

New Celebrity Bobbleheads

All were fascinated about the Bobble Heads of famous characters posted sometime back. Well, here are the new ones.

Who looks the hottest, Who looks the funniest?

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Style Your Garage !

(No they are not paying me for advertising them - but, thought this was funny - of course in a good way)

Are you fed up with looking daily at your boring garage door?

Just stick a new decal on your door....and wait for the neighborhood reaction !

Make an impression on your neighbors !

The German company "Style your Garage" makes posters for your garage door.

 Good Stuff Ya?

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