A funny from Sri Lanka !

A Sri Lankan Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in US so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100

A American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic...

Lawyer :  "I have lost my sense of taste"

Lankan doctor :  "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth"

Lawyer :  "Ugh..this is kerosene"

Lankan doctor :  "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20"

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money...

Lawyer :  "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything"

Lankan doctor :  "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth"

Lawyer (annoyed) :  "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste"

Lankan doctor : "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20"

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer :  "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all "

Lankan doctor :  "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100"

Lawyer (staring at the note) : "But this is $20, not $100"

Lankan doctor :  "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"

You can't beat  Sri Lankan’s !!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

Don't know who wrote this.. Hats off to him......

I am Coming too !

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Little Musa comes to school with a black eye regularly. The teacher notices this and thinks of having a chat with little Musa. 


TEACHER: What's wrong?

MUSA : Our house is very small.

MUSA: My mum, my dad and I, we all sleep on the same bed. Every night my dad asks, Musa r u sleeping?' Then I say 'No' and then he slaps my face and gives me a Black eye"

Teacher: Tonight when ur dad asks again, keep dead quiet. don't answer. The following morning Musa comes back with a severe black eye again.

Teacher: My goodness why the black eye again?

Musa : Dad asked me again, Musa are you sleeping? I shut up and kept dead still. Then my dad and my mom started moving, u know, at the same time Mum was breathing like a Christmas chicken, kicking her legs up frantically and squealing like a hyena on the bed. 

Then my dad asked my mum, R u coming? Mum said, Yes I'm coming, r u coming too? Dad answered:- Yes. 

They don't usually go anywhere without me so I said, wait for me, I'm coming tooo 😂

Public Embarrassment in a different form

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 Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
The last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
Immediately take the words back...
Or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word... He knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget it.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The s silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she
speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed up to a couple of inches and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, as they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
And remember
We all say things we don't really mean,
So think before you speak!