Funny Answers in Court of Law

These are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in Court, word for word, taken down and now published by Court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS : Did you actually pass the law exam?
__________

ATTORNEY : The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS : He's twenty, much like your IQ.
_________

ATTORNEY : Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS : Are you serious.
__________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS : Yes.

ATTORNEY : How many were boys?

WITNESS : None.

ATTORNEY : Were there any girls?

WITNESS : Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________

ATTORNEY : How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS : By death.

ATTORNEY : And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS : Take a guess.
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ATTORNEY : Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY : Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS : Unless the Circus was in town,  I'm going with male.
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ATTORNEY : Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS : All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
__________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS : The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY : And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS : If not, he was by the time I finished.
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And the best for the last..

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS : No.

ATTORNEY : Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS : No.

ATTORNEY : Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS : No.

ATTORNEY : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS : No.

ATTORNEY : How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY : But could the patient have still been alive?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
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The Doctor, Teacher or Student - High-school Reunion !!

Please share with friends.. 

Absolutely brilliant joke.  After a long time, i could really relish an intelligent joke :
Reunion Special: Read it😀😊😬😳

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "surely I can't look that old.". Well . . . you'll love this one..The stuff is from a lady called Archana

"My name is Archana. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.

I noticed his BDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 25-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St Xavier's high school.

"Yes. yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1987. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!!!!", I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then,
that
ugly,
old,
bald,
wrinkled faced,
gray-haired,
decrepit,
idiot,
asked,

"What subject did you teach" ?"

The golden bar where Booze is .......

Share your Joy with your friends !!

Pedro came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman.

"No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of GOLD!" Said Pedru.

She said she didn't believe him, so she called the bar.

"Hello," she said,

"I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question; are your urinals covered in gold?"

To which she heard the bartender say,

 "Hey, Martin, - I think we found the guy who pissed  in your Saxophone!

Well, there are Saxophone urinals in some toilets - the Man could be right !!