New Studies on Generation Y

THE 'Gen Y' CHROMOSOME


People born before 1946 are called - The Greatest Generation.

People born between 1946 and 1964 are called - The Baby Boomers.

People born between 1965 and 1979 are called - Generation X.

And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called - Generation Y.

Why do we call the last group -Generation Y ?

Y should I get a job?

Y should I leave home and find my own place?

Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?

Y should I clean my room?

Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?

Y should I buy any food?

But perhaps a cartoonist explained it most eloquently below...

Just thought you might want to know "Y"
Now share and inform someone else, press the share buttons for social networks.
They may not know.

Good Medical Advice

Love this Japanese Doctor!
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Twin Sisters Getting Lucky !

Rocky has broken his leg and his buddy Bob comes over to see him.

Bob: How are you doing ??

Rocky: Fine.

Hey, do me a favour.. Go upstairs and get me my slippers. My feet r freezing!

Bob goes upstairs and sees Rocky's hot twin sisters lying on the bed.

Bob: your brother sent me up 2 have sex with u girls..

Twins: Prove it!

Bob (Shouting): Hey Rocky.., both of them ??

Rocky (Shouting back): Of course! What's d point of fucking one???...

Absolute Classic!!!

The Spanish Computer !

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give 4 reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1 No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2 The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3 Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4 As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay cheque on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1 In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2 They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3 They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4 As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model..

Family Matters Solved !

Technical Difference
1.between Welding and Wedding ..
In Welding there are Sparks first and Bonding Forever, whereas...
in Wedding there is Bonding first and Sparks Forever ...

2. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
You can be sure of one thing;
Either the car is new or the wife.

3. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.

4. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack our driver ran away...

5. A young boy asks his Dad :"What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential !!!

'I HATE MY JOB DAY'

Please share on Social media if you like the story 

When you have an 'I HATE MY JOB DAY'

Try this out:

Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase 
a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favourite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small print there is this statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF APAIN IN THE ARSE THAN YOURS!

if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...

Maybe you should go and work for Johnson and Johnson - after all testing is carried out by some interesting people (as the one below)

Silly People gone on Vacations

Guys  Please share this among your friends on Facebook, g+ or Twitter !!

THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

2. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

BEST MARRIAGE COUNCILOR EVER !

Betty had convinced herself that she was unhappily married…! After much introspection, she ultimately confronted her loving husband Bob with the suggestion that they seek marriage guidance counselling. After 25 years of matrimony, she felt the magic had gone from their marriage. Bob’s real passion had become Lawn Bowls and no longer her! Ever willing to please, Bob conceded.

After introductions and pleasantries and being seated in the handsome young guidance councillor’s very comfortably furnished rooms, he turned solemnly to Betty and enquired of her what she felt the problem was. Betty launched unreservedly into a passionate, painful tirade… listing every personal problem she perceived she and Bob had ever encountered in their 25 years of married life. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. 

Finally, after allowing the oratory to continue for an ample length of time, the analyst arose, walked around the desk, looked pensively at Betty and after asking her to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, placed his large, soft, warm hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, whilst kissing her passionately, as her bemused husband Bob watched with interest!

Highly aroused, Betty was finally speechless. Blushing profusely, she buttoned up her blouse and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of the councilors attentive actions.

The councilor returned to his seat, sat down, turned to Bob, looked him square in the eyes and calmly said: 'Bob, this is what your wife needs, at least three times a week…can you do this?'

Bob thought pensively for a moment and then replied enthusiastically, 'Well yes, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays…...But on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays I play bowls!

Best marriage jokes !

(1) Put your wife in a room & lock it.

      Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
      Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you ! 
(Group members are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog!!) 
 
Don't laugh loud ----  
The extended version says... 

 
2) Put your husband in a room & lock it.
    Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
    Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you'll be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before!!! 
 

3) Always keep your spouse’s picture as mobile screen saver.
   Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say:
   "if I can handle this, I can handle anything!"… Superb Attitude for Life!!  
 

(4) If wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable.
     If husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.  
 
(5) A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- "Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…
     “Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the life…"!!!!  
 

(6) Million Dollar Truth:
     If Saturday and Sunday doesn't excite you, then change your Friends.
     If Monday doesn't motivate you, then change your profession.
     If Monday is too exciting, and you are dying to get to work, then you should     
     

change your spouse!! 

 
(7) Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married? That was common sense leaving your body.
 
(8)Generally a man does not go to the place again where he has been cheated once…
But many people still go to their in-laws place..????
 
(9) Pappu: Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!
     Dad: What role are you playing?
    Pappu: A husband!
     Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!
 
(10) Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word”.
     Man inside: “I am talking to my wife” 

 
(11) A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage..
       She said- “sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot”
 
(12) Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!
 
(13) Best one line ad by a married man on OLX:
      "For Sale – Wedding Suit, used only once by Mistake……"