Italian Mafia and Godfather !

                                               
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido,
has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the
first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he
would not have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing
$10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what
you are talking about" The Godfather pulls out a pistol,
puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win!
The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed
at my cousin Bruno's house.

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Don't you just love lawyers?

Pretty Italian Bride !

An Italian Guy has met a beautiful girl and gets engaged. 

He asks his mum if he can bring three women home for her to meet and she has to guess which is his chosen bride. His mum agrees. 

That night a big Italian Feast is prepared and the three women arrive and are all introduced to his mother. The night is long and they all appear to have a lot of fun. 

At the end of the night the son asks his mother which of the women have I chosen as my bride. 

The mother promptly replies without hesitation the one on the right. The son surprised says Mum how did you know ? 

She replies it's the one I didn't like ......