The latest Blond Jokes !

Well - bring is on Blondie !

A young blond girl in her early 20s, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded.

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes."

A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.............

"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a Mercedes."

(I am telling ya all - they are good for one thing and that requires a bed, a couch - oh fuck it, anywhere you could fuck them all)
Enjoy !
 

Funny Gangam Style - Prohibited !

 The Picture says it all - the funny dance moves of the Gangnam Style -  is it seriously banned from some of the parks world over??

Well, it has to be serious if Novak Djokovic thought he has to have a go !!

And this is one of the funniest editions !!

And Hitler joins in to do Gangnam Style !

And the English version - the condom star !

Boss gone Missing ?

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. ' Hello ? '

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, ' No .'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?' ' Yes '

'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, ' No ' 

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

' Yes , ' whispered the child, ' a policeman . '

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

' No, he's busy, ' whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

' Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer. 

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered,

' The search team just landed a helicopter '

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

' ME. '

More and More Funny Cartoons !

Here are a few funny ones and mind you they look like being originated in India !!

PUNS FOR THE EDUCATED MIND !!

Really?? Educated???

• The  fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired  his size from too much pi. 

 

• I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an  optical Aleutian .  

 

• She was  only a whiskey maker, but he loved her  still. 

 

• A rubber band  pistol was confiscated from algebra class for being a weapon of math  disruption. 

 

• No matter how  much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 

 

• A grenade  thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum  Blownapart. 

 

• Two silk worms  had a race. They ended up in a  tie. 

 

• A recent news report  indicates that a hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are  looking into it. 

 
 

• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit  flies like a banana. 

 

• Atheism is a non-prophet  organization. 

 

• Two hats were hanging on a hat  rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a-head.' 

 

• I wondered why the baseball kept  getting bigger. Then it hit me. 

 

• A sign seen on the lawn at a drug  rehab center: 'Keep off the Grass.' 

 

• What do you call a soldier who  survives mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned  veteran. 

 

• A backward poet writes  inverse. 

 

• In a democracy it's your vote that  counts. In feudalism it's your count that  votes. 

 

• Did you hear what happened when  the cannibals ate the missionary?  They got a taste of  religion. 

 

• If you jumped off a bridge in  Paris , you'd be in Seine.

 

• A vulture boards an airplane,  carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry,  sir, only one carrion allowed per  passenger.' 

 

• Two fish swim into a concrete  wall. One turns to the other and says  'Dam!' 

 

• Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak  were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving  once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it  too. 

 

• Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says,  'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies,  'Yes, I'm positive.' 

 

• There was the person who sent ten  puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them  laugh. No pun in ten did.  

Anti Rape !

OK. Here's one for the girls to escape from a predator trying to rape you when you are lonely in the streets. It is a very simple Japanese technique. Better than Karate, Kung Fu, Judo or any other means of self defense. This is Electrifying news for all young ladies who like to wear Sexy stuff and walk in the streets. Buy it online now.. 

You don't even have to know Japanese to understand how it works - just follow the instructions as below !

Prophet Taught Joke !

A devout Muslim entered a black cab in London.

He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.

The Arab asked him, "What are you doing?"

The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so fuck off and wait for a camel!!"

How to Identify a Terrorist !

How do you know and Identify a Terrorist ?

Here are a few indications. 

(The last point above is not my idea) 

And a the Mercedes Benz are not happy about what happens to their vehicle in the hands of Terrorists

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Funny as Hell !

We have been taught to Love our Enemy !!

A prayer

In church, while reverently preparing for the service,

I heard a sweet little old lady sitting next to me in the pew, quietly whispering a prayer.

It was so sweet and sincere that I just had to share it with you.

She said,  

"Dear Lord, this has been a tough two or three  years ...
You have taken:

My favourite actor Patrick Swayze,
My favourite musician Michael Jackson,
My favourite salesman Billy Mays,
My favourite actress  Elizabeth Taylor,
My favourite singer Whitney Houston,
And, now, my favourite announcer Dick Clark.

I just wanted you to know that my favourite politician is

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Amen  !  "