Very Funny stuff - think different - lateral thinking

This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking .
Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.

 

Think like a wizard . . .

 

 
man 
1. ------------
 board
 
 

 

Ans. = man overboard

 

  Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

 

 

    stand 
2. ------------
   i

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ans. = I understand

 

 

 

OK . . .

 

 Got the drift ?

 

 

 

Let's try a few now and see

 how you fare ?

 

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/

 

 

 

Ans. = reading between the lines

 

 

 

4.   r 
         road  
        a          d
 
 
 

 

Ans. = cross road

 

 

 

Not having a good day now, are you ?

Redeem yourself.

 

 

 

 

5.      cycle 
         cycle 
         cycle

 

 
 

 

Ans. = tricycle

 

 

 

Not easy to figure out ha!

 

 

 

 

 

        0 
6. ------------ 
        M.D.
        Ph.D.

 

 
 
 

 

Ans. = two degrees below zero

 

 

 

 

C'mon give it a little thought ! !

 

 

 

 

        knee 
7. ------------
        light

 

 
 
 

 

Ans. = neon light

 

 ( knee - on - light )

 

 

 

U can prove u r smart by getting this one.

 

 

                      ground 
8.                    ------------ ---
          feet feet feet feet feet feet

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

Ans. = six feet underground

 

 

 

 

Oh no, not again ! !

 

 

 

 

 

9.  he's X  himself

 

 
 

 

Ans. = he's by himself

 

 

 

 

Now u messing up big time.

 

 

 

 

10. ecnalg

 

 
 

 

Ans. = backward glance

 

 

 

    Not even close ! !

 

 

 

 

11. death ..... life

 

 
 
 

 

Ans. = life after death

 

 

 

Okay last chance ............ ......

12. THINK

 

 
 

 

Ans. = think big ! !

 

 

 

 

And the last one is real fundoo - - -

 

 

13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ..

 

 

Ans. =  long time no 'C'

 

( see )    

 

Jamaican BMW & Wedding Cake

This guys doesn't look life a person who's suffering, anyways,

A health forum speaker asks :

"Which food causes extreme suffering for years after eating it ?"

.

.

After a long silence, an old man answered:

"Wedding Cake” !!!!!!!

And you know that he is a millionaire - what a shame !

______________________________________

A Jamaican driving his BMW pulls over to the hard shoulder to urinate.

A truck crashes into his door sending it flying off its hinges....

When the police arrive the jamaican tells them "Star di man just rip da door off mi new bimmer" 

The policeman replys "U Jamaicans are so materialistic. U are so worried about your car door you didn't even relise that your hand has been detached" 

The Jamaican looks at his amputated hand and screams "Bloodclart! Mi Rolex...!!

Mohammed and Little Johnny - God Bless America !

Even the Children Knows the Difference !!!

And here is the Joke - LOL !!



Mohammed, an Arab child, entered his classroom on
the first day of school in Ohio.
   
"What is your name?"  
– asked the teacher.
 
"Mohammed"
– answered the kid.
 
"You are in America now.  
From now on your name will be Johnny,"  
–replied the teacher.
 
In the evening, Mohammed returned home.  
"How was your day,Mohammed?"  
– asked his mother.
 
"My name is not Mohammed.  
I’m in America and now my name is Johnny."
– replied Mohammed.
 
"Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying  
to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion?  
Shame on you!"  
....and she beat him.
Then she called his father and he too beat him.
 
The next day Mohammed returned to school..
 
When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked,  
"What happened to you little Johnny?"
 
"Well Ma'am, 4 hours after  
I become an American,    
I was attacked by two Arabs at home."

 

Mouning Widow !

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. 

Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.  

Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.

Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom I have someone for you to meet." 

Well, it was an immediate hit.   

They took to one another and after dating for six weeks,  

he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont ...    

Their first night there, she undressed as he did,

there she stood nude, except for a pair of 

black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit.

Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"

She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still mourning."

He knew he was not getting lucky that night.   

The following night was the same--she stood there wearing the black panties,  

and he was in his birthday suit--but now he was wearing a black condom .

She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"

He replied,

"I Want to offer my deepest condolences"