Fairy Tales - The Funny Irony !!

Let's take a few Fairy tales that made us sleep !!

1.  The Little red riding hood

She didn't listen to her mother…

2. Snow White

The Bitch lived with seven men...

3. Pinocchio

The @#$%&;^ was a liar…


4. Tarzan

The Nut Case walked without clothes on...

5. Sleeping Beauty

slept the whole day until a guy kissed her...

6. Cinderella

was dancing with a guy who she just met, till 12 in the night...

These are the stories our parents raised us with, and then they complain our generation is messed up.

Irony, isn’t it??












Funny story cartoon pictures of fairy tales

Elton John & David Furnish's Baby !!

What really happened when Elton John and David Furnish decided to have a baby????

They had their sperm mixed together and had a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it.

 When the baby was born Elton and David were waiting at the hospital.

They were ushered into a ward where a dozen babies were lying in their cots, eleven of whom were crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby was smiling serenely.

A nurse came over to both of them and indicated that the happy child was theirs.


"Isn't it wonderful?" Elton said to David. "All these unhappy babies ..... and yet our baby is so happy. This just proves the superiority of gay love!"

The nurse said, "Oh sure, he's happy now, but just watch what happens when I pull the thermometer out of his rectum!"

 

Spelling Mistake and Funny Cartoons !

A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e'at the end of a word.....

"I'm having such a wonderful time! Wish u were her_"

More Rajinikanth Jokes !!

Click here for the other set of Rajinikanth Jokes on barabare (http://barabare.blogspot.com/2010/06/rajinikanth.html)

Once upon a time Rajnikanth used a tooth powder to get strong teeth….. . . . . today that powder is used as AMBUJA CEMENT


Once Rajnikanth was playing Cricket and Rain Stopped due to Heavy Play


Once Rajnikanth went for a walk and after one hour police arrested him u know why??
He reached USA and having No Visa with him


Rajnikanth was practicing for spelling test. The rough sheet he used is today known as the oxford dictionary!!


Hrithik tried to participate in a dance competition with Rajnikanth. Result: He is in a wheel chair in Gujarish.

 Click here for the other set of Rajinikanth Jokes on barabare (http://barabare.blogspot.com/2010/06/rajinikanth.html)

Rajnikanth was once told to choose 3 subjects when he got admission in jr.college……………. He chose science,arts and commerce!!!!!!!
Rajnikanth can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!!

One nite, while asleep, Rajnikanth was mumbling some random numbrs... Thats how the Log table was invented.


One day Rajnikanth bunked school. Since then it is known as Sunday


Once Rajnikanth was on the hot seat of KBC.... And the computer needed lifeline to choose the question. - Mind it!

Click here for the other set of Rajinikanth Jokes on barabare (http://barabare.blogspot.com/2010/06/rajinikanth.html)


Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you?
Rajini: Rascala, how do you think the earth spins?


Roger Federer: I know everything about tennis. You can ask me anything.
Rajnikanth: Ok. Tell me, how many holes are there in the NET??


All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did…
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa… mind it!!

What Really Pissed me Off !!

Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off!"


"Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely.

“See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"

“Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender.

"Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the customer went on. "When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"

"Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a lousy mood."

"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window. And where does it land? My damned forehead!"

"Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender.

"Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head!"

The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!"

Black Guy, White Guy Joke !

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.


The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"


The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.


The small guy says, "Turner Brown????!!!...Sweet Jesus. For a moment, I thought you said, 'Turn around "

Baby with complications

A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.


"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies.

"O.K. Do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife.


"No, no boyfriend either."


Do you have a partner then?"

"No, I`m not attached, I'll be having my baby on my own."


After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman, "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black."


"Well," replies the girl, "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a porn film. The lead man was black."

"Oh, I`m very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."


"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see the co-star in the movie was this Swedish guy."


"Oh, I`m sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business either and I hate to pry further but your baby also has slanted Eyes."


"Yes," continues the girl, "there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."

At this, the midwife again apologizes, collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give the baby a slap on the butt.


The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Thank god for that!"


"What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.

"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that she was going to bark."

Elderly Woman and Bank President

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.


After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'

The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.'

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'

'Certainly', replied the president.. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.'

'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that


There was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. So that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada !'

Blonds - Sex doesn't matter !!

A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street, sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.


As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?'


The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff.............


"I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her.......... So I did."

"We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt.... So I did. "

"Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants.... So I did. "


"Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts.... So I did."


"Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says,


'Now go to town cowboy.' - 'And here I am.' "

 

Politically Incorrect !!

I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days'

I told him 'I wish I had your flamin' will power'

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Paki's" were not the correct answers.

  

In conclusion - Confucius says

• Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts
• Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion
• Man who runs in front of car get tired, man who runs behind car get exhausted.
• War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Pregnant ? Such sensitivity........

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

 She said "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just take several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path".


She looked at the men in the room, "and Gentlemen, remember -- You're in this together - It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her.


The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.


Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.


"Yes", answered the Instructor.


"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk??"

LOL - Men do give opportunities for women to have fun all the time you know !!!

HOW TO TELL THE GENDER OF A BIRD

This Is AMAZING!!!






Until now I never fully understood how to tell The difference Between Male and Female Birds. I always thought it had to be determined surgically. - Until Now.






Which of The Two Birds Is a Female???

Below are Two Birds. Study them closely...See If You Can Spot Which of The Two Is The Female.


It can be done. Even by one with limited bird watching skills.

So What do you think ??

For those who couldn't figure out - the one to your right is the Fe-Male !!

Tickle Me Elmo !!!

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.



Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.


The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee.


He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.


The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.


At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.


The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena .


'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'



'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.