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Monday, December 6, 2010

Balls Vs. Gutts & A few Definitions


There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:


GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ''Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?''



BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say: ''You're next, fatty.''





I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically
speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 
ADULT
 
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
 

BEAUTY PARLOUR
 
A place where women curl up and dye.



CHICKENS
 
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
 
COMMITTEE
 
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
 
DUST
 
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
 
EGOTIST
 
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
 
HANDKERCHIEF

Cold Storage.
 
INFLATION
 
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
 
MOSQUITO
 
An insect that makes you like flies better.
 
RAISIN
 
A grape with a sunburn.
 
SECRET
 
Something you tell to one person at a time.
 
SKELETON
 
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
 
TOOTHACHE
 

The pain that drives you to extraction.
 
TOMORROW
 
One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
 
YAWN
 
An honest opinion openly expressed. 

WRINKLES
 
Something other people have, 
Similar to my character lines.

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