An Italian Guy has met a beautiful girl and gets engaged.
He asks his mum if he can bring three women home for her to meet and she has to guess which is his chosen bride. His mum agrees.
That night a big Italian Feast is prepared and the three women arrive and are all introduced to his mother. The night is long and they all appear to have a lot of fun.
At the end of the night the son asks his mother which of the women have I chosen as my bride.
The mother promptly replies without hesitation the one on the right. The son surprised says Mum how did you know ?
She replies it's the one I didn't like ......
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Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
A farmer saw a plane full of politicians crash near his farm. When the police arrived, they asked the farmer what happened.
Farmer: They crashed near my farm and I buried all of them.
One of the police men asked with shock; "are you sure they were all dead"?
Farmer: Some of them were screaming, "we are still alive". But I couldn't believe them.
You know, these politicians. They can lie.
wonder whether this would happen to all lying politicians who put the great united states of America USA in jeopardy. Donald Trump to Jeb Bush to Hilary Clinton to all politicians who lie to the people during elections
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Johnny was always lucky to get the sexiest looking teachers who dressed up in a revealing manner. Sadly though, they were also pretty strict on the poor little bastards.
One day, the teacher was looking so sexy and bubbly, all students in the class were turned on...
One guy, Peter was caught smiling...
Teacher - Why are you smiling Peter?
Peter - I saw a strap of your bra
Teacher - GET OUT..... No classes for you for a week...
A while later, the teacher hears Jason go "WOW"...
Teacher - What's up Jason ?
Jason - I saw both your bra Starps..
Teacher - GET OUT... No classes for you for a month..
She was furious with the kids she turned swiftly towards the board and in the process dropped the marker pen. She bends to pick it up and little Johnny get's up from his seat with the biggest grin and starts walking away from the class.
Teacher - Johnny, where do you think you are going ?
Johnny - With what I saw, my school days are over...
Saturday, December 5, 2015
A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, “Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”
She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”
It happened at a New York Airport. This is hilarious. I wish I had the guts of this girl. An award should go to the United Airlines...
Next time, be careful when you are having sex or get prepared to face the consequences....
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