The Chinese in USA

A Chinaman moves to USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai.

He bought a home in a suburb.

The friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy.

He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens.

Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day.

Next day he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese urinate into a glass and then drink it.

Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the China-man leading a bull down the drive-way .....pause...... and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt.

The American bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the China-man and says, 'Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you.'

The China man is very taken back and says, 'Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs, I doing, these American Customs.'

'What do you mean' says the neighbor, 'Those aren't American customs.'


'Yes they are. Man at travel agent tell me' replied the China-man.

'He say to become true American, I must learn to

..... chase chicks,

..... get piss drunk,

and ..... listen to bull-shit!'

Akbar, Birbal and the Idiots

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Akbar asked Birbal to look for five biggest idiots in his state and produce them in his court within a month.

After a month's extensive search operations, Birbal brought to the court only two persons.
"But I asked for five", Akbar angrily asked. "Give me a chance to present them one by one", Birbal pleaded and went on to present his idiots:

"Maharaj, this man, while travelling in a bullock cart, was keeping his luggage on his head so as not to hurt the bullocks. He is the first idiot.Pointing to the second man Birbal continued, "And this man here is the second idiot. Some grass grew on the roof of his thatched house and he was trying to force his cow climb up a ladder to graze on them."

Birbal continued, "Maharaj, there were a lot of important jobs for me to do in the state, but I ignored them and wasted a precious month in searching for idiots. According to me I am the third idiot."

Birbal paused here for a moment.

"Who are the fourth and fifth idiots?", Akbar thundered.

"Beg your pardon, Maharaj", Birbal continued, "You are the king and are responsible for the well being of the entire state and its people. You need wise persons to help you oversee the state affairs. Instead of looking for wise people you engaged me to look for idiots. According to me you are the fourth idiot.

And, Maharaj, the person who is glued to this blog site, keeping aside all his high priority assignments, oblivious of pressing needs of his family,  just to learn who is the fifth idiot, is the fifth idiot himself. You will not find a better idiot to beat this  one. What do you say, Maharaj?", Birbal concluded.

Akbar said, "Post it immediately in all groups, Social media and where ever possible. Lots of idiots are eagerly waiting".