Funny Shop Prank Call

 

True Story - Few names changed - Quite funny considering that it actually happened - U will know towards the end..

So I call Colombia Picture Palace since they are listed as a company who handle picture framing and the conversation goes something like this:

Colombia Picture Palace (CPP): Hallooo?

Me: Hi, I would like to inquire how much it would cost to mount an A1 sized poster on black box board frame?

CPP: Aaah???

Me: Picture framing, picture framing... you do picture framing?

CPP: Eeeeeerrrrr, ya-ya-ya... wait a minute I'll put!

Me: *listening to "There's No Place Like Home" tin can hold music for 6 minutes* 

CPP: Hallooo?

Me: Yeah, I'm calling about picture framing?

CPP: What framing?

Me: Picture framing!

CPP: We only do glass...

Me: I'm sorry, what?

CPP: Glass, Glass! Only glass doing!

Me: Um, okay... so if I give you a picture, you can't frame it, you'll only put the glass (you can see at this point that Im starting to take the piss out of this guy).

CPP: No not just glass, can give industrial glass. Like building glass, building glass?

Me: Um, okay. Why do I want 'building' glass for my posters?

CPP: No for poster! You put to your building. Like your house? you put to your house.

Me: I dont need glass for my house!

CPP: Then why you calling?

Me: Because your website says you do picture framing!

CPP: I don't know we have website... if its telling there must be boss's work. He also doing one one things.

Me: Can I ask you one thing?

CPP: Tell-tell, anything tell!

Me: Why are you called Colombia Picture Palace?

CPP: That of course I don't know, you have to ask boss.

Me: Where is boss?

CPP: I can't tell. Boss don't like if I tell.

Me: Ah okay. Anyone else is there.

CPP: Boss's wife is there but she wont talk to customers

Me: Okay. So no pictures in Picture Palace?

CPP: Have only one picture sir, that of course cant give!

Me: Okay, I never asked for your picture, but anyway, why can't you give?

CPP: Ah! That is picture of Boss's father. He died. Why you asking for that picture? Who are you? If I tell Boss you are taking that picture he will find you!

Me: (OMG! This guy is freaking out!) I wont take Boss's picture, don't worry!

CPP: Then you are telling like that?

Me: No, no. you didn't understand what I was telling. Anyway, what do you do there?

CPP: I am General Manager!

Me: Ah, good good. Anyway. I'm gonna hang up. Bye. (I don't really hang up but listen to see if he would say anything else)

CPP: Ah okay, okay. Bye!

(A short pause follows and I can here him speaking to someone else, "Are we doing picture framing also?" to which I hear the reply, "Otherwise?"

Me: (Yelling into the mouthpiece) Hello, HELLO!!!

*click*

Anger Management Tips - Funny !

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying ‘Hello.’ I politely said, ‘This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?’


Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear


Get the right f***ing number!’ and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.When I tracked down Robyn ‘s correct number to call her, and after hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled ‘You’re an asshole!’and hung up.


I wrote his number down with the word ‘asshole’ next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.


Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, ‘You’re an asshole!’It always cheered me up.


When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ‘asshole’ calling would have to stop.


So, I called his number and said, ‘Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company, I’m calling to see if you’re familiar with our mobile Caller ID Program?’


He yelled ‘NO!’and slammed down the phone.


I quickly called him back and said, ‘That’s because you’re an asshole!’ and hung up.

AND THEN

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.


I hit the horn and yelled that I’d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a ‘For Sale ‘ sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.


A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I’d better call the BMW asshole, too.


I said, ‘Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?’


He said, ‘Yes, it is.’


I then asked, ‘Can you tell me where I can see it?’


He said as sweetly as he could,’Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It’s a yellow ranch style house and the car’s parked right out in front.’


I asked, ‘What’s your name?’ He said, ‘My name is Don Hansen,’
I asked, ‘When’s a good time to catch you, Don?’ He said, ‘I’m home every evening after five.’


I said, ‘Listen, Don, can I tell you something?’ He said, ‘Yes, of course you can?’


I said, ‘Don, you’re an asshole!’ Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.


Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea…


I called asshole #1.He said,’Hello.’ I said, ‘You’re an asshole!’ (But I didn’t hang up.)


He asked, ‘Are you still there?’


I said, ‘Yeah!’


He screamed, ‘Stop calling me’.


I said, ‘Make me,’


He asked,’Who are you?’


I said,’My name is Don Hansen.’


He said, ‘Yeah? Where do you live?’


I said, ‘Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow ranch style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.’


He said, ‘I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.’


I said, ‘Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole,’ and hung up.


Then I called Asshole #2.


He said, ‘Hello?’


I said, ‘Hello, asshole,’


He yelled, ‘If I ever find out who you are…’


I said,’You’ll what?’


He exclaimed,’I'll kick your ass,’


I answered,’Well, asshole, here’s your chance.I’m coming over right now.’


Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.


NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.