What to say at the Pearly Gates

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.

“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered.

“On a trip to the Big Horn Mountains out in Wyoming, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen.” 

“So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.”

I yelled, “Now, back off or I’ll kick the shit out of all of you!”

Saint Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?”

“A couple of minutes ago.”

Bill Gates resign as Microsoft CEO

Bill Gates has resigned as the 'Chairman of Microsoft' after receiving a letter from kuppuswamy. He was bright enough to handover the operations to an Indian, Satya Nadella 

It reads:

Saar,

I have some questions for you.... Please yanswer them:

Nambar wan) The keyboard alphabets are not in order, when will you launch the correct version?

Nambar too) There is yeh 'Start' button... but no 'Stop' button... where it is?

Nambar tree) I have already learned Microsoft Word, when are you " laanching" Microsoft Sentence?

Nambar for) There is yeh Recycle bin... but...there is nobody coming to collect that bin. Why???

Your name is Bill... But in India they orr selling computers without Bill... Why???

Yand finally yeh personal question: 
Your surname is Gates... But you are selling Windows... Why saar why??