The Doctor, Teacher or Student - High-school Reunion !!

Please share with friends.. 

Absolutely brilliant joke.  After a long time, i could really relish an intelligent joke :
Reunion Special: Read it😀😊😬😳

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "surely I can't look that old.". Well . . . you'll love this one..The stuff is from a lady called Archana

"My name is Archana. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.

I noticed his BDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 25-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St Xavier's high school.

"Yes. yes, I did.' he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1987. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!!!!", I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then,
that
ugly,
old,
bald,
wrinkled faced,
gray-haired,
decrepit,
idiot,
asked,

"What subject did you teach" ?"

Bill Gates resign as Microsoft CEO

Bill Gates has resigned as the 'Chairman of Microsoft' after receiving a letter from kuppuswamy. He was bright enough to handover the operations to an Indian, Satya Nadella 

It reads:

Saar,

I have some questions for you.... Please yanswer them:

Nambar wan) The keyboard alphabets are not in order, when will you launch the correct version?

Nambar too) There is yeh 'Start' button... but no 'Stop' button... where it is?

Nambar tree) I have already learned Microsoft Word, when are you " laanching" Microsoft Sentence?

Nambar for) There is yeh Recycle bin... but...there is nobody coming to collect that bin. Why???

Your name is Bill... But in India they orr selling computers without Bill... Why???

Yand finally yeh personal question: 
Your surname is Gates... But you are selling Windows... Why saar why??

Santa Banta Joke !

Banta Singh walks into a bar in London , orders 3 glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."

Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai , the other in Canada and I'm here in London . When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."

The bartender admits this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
Banta Singh became a regular in the bar and would always drink the same way. He'd order 3 Beers and drink them in turn.

One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bar tender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss."

Banta Singh looked confused for a moment, and then he laughs.... "Oh, no," He said, "Everyone's fine; both my brothers are alive. The only thing is ......

I have quit drinking"!!!!

Winter Weather Forecast !

It was autumn, and members of a Native American Indian tribe asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a new Chief in a modern society and had never been taught the old secrets of Nature, he looked up at the sky and had no clue what to do. 

To play it safe, he replied to his tribe that the winter could definitely be cold and that they should collect firewood early, just to be prepared. So, the members began gathering wood.

Being a practical leader, he figured he should also use the resources available to the modern society. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, “Will this winter be cold?”

“As of now, it looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,” the forecaster said.

So the Chief went back to his tribe and told them to collect even more wood. A week later he called the National Weather Service again and asked for an update.

“Yes,” the man at National Weather Service again replied, “based on incoming data, this winter is looking to be colder than we expected.” The Chief was surprised, but again went back to his tribe, told them that this might be a very cold winter, and asked them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

One week later, the Chief called the National Weather Service yet again, hoping for a new answer. 

“Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”

“Positive,” the man replied. “It’s going to be one of the coldest winters ever.”

“Really?” the shocked Chief exclaimed. “How can you be so sure?”

“First,” the forecaster replied, “The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.”

What Indian Advertisements Teach Us !

1. Kareena has dandruff problem, Katrina has dry hair problem, Shilpa has hairfall problem and Priyanka has chip-chip.

2. If you've a hot wife, make sure your neighbor doesn't use a deodorant in your absence.

3. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications.

4. If there is no salt in your kitchen you can use Toothpaste.

5. Every second oral care brand is No. 1 and recommended by every dentist in India!!!

6. If your daughter is not Ready to Get married, take her to a jewelry/textile shop.

7. Only reason why men use deodorant is to get girls.

8. Most colas cure all kinds of phobias. You will be close to a superman, if you drink these regularly!!

9. All superstars are so poor that they prefer to risk life for a cool drink than to purchase it for Rs:10

10. The special effects in shampoo ads are greater than special effects in Avatar.

11. Fruit content in shampoo and soap is more than fruit content in 99% of juices.

12. Amul has better satirical cartoonists than people who make better milk products.

13. Most people buy vehicles to travel in bad roads but complain about roads in India.

14. You can't eat Dairy Milk Silk without spreading it all over you face.

15. Nobody uses motorbikes for commuting, its only to pick up girls.

16. All soaps kill 99.9% of germs.

17. People believe that Bacardi makes music CD's and Directors special/Kingfisher make mineral water.

18. The only time mothers and daughters talk to each other, it's usually about hair oil.

19. No matter what kind of expert one is, he'll always wear a white laboratory coat.

And, finally this

20.Mutualfundinvestmentsaresubjecttomarketriskspleasereadtheofferdocumentcarefullybeforeinvesting.