Wife: "What are your plans for Easter?" Husband: "Same as Jesus.." Wife: "What do you mean ??" Husband: "I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!"
Wife: "That's AWESOME. if you do that, I'll do like Mary."
Husband: "What do u mean ?"
Wife: "I will show up pregnant, yet untouched by my husband."
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.
The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and
hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring
me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from
there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and
picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.
"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly
brings him a menu again.
"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."
The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him
coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I
take it to the blind man."
Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says,
