The Thai Massage

Sam, who during a vacation to Thailand, ordered a massage session in his room. One for his wife and one for himself.

After massaging Sam for a while, the Thai girl said, "Massage penis".

Sam felt awkward, but kept quiet, looking shiftily at his wife.

The Thai masseuse again said, "Massage penis."

There was silence, yet again ...

Finally, his wife spoke... 

"Don't raise your hopes, ... She's telling you "Massage finish!"

Hello Google - Endless Possibilities

Hey Google, I am feeling the urge to have sex.

Google:: Most certainly. I am dimming the lights. Setting your AC to 22 degrees.

The Viagra is kept on the top right shelf of your wardrobe. The vagina gel is kept next to it.

I have hired your favourite Thai masseuse. She is just 12 minutes away as per her uber ride status. 

I have scheduled her 5k payment from your credit card 2 hours from now.

I have checked your wife's GPS and she is at Walmart buying groceries. As per her buying checklist stored on my disk, she will take at least 2 more hours plus considering Google maps traffic, an extra 1 hour to reach home. 

Enjoy your sex. And yes, your condom is in the pull out drawer of your living room and the key to that drawer is in your wallet. 

This is the last condom, so I have added condoms to your Amazon cart

This is called Artificial Intelligence

Wife: Hey Google, have you set it up?

Google: Sure thing, he thinks you are going to take three hours, all you gotta do is take an Uber home, you will reach in 45 minutes. I'm recording the whole thing with four cameras, you just need to walk in, we have the bastard cold, i have your divorce papers printed and ready, and your attorney briefed, and case documents drafted, will be filled tomorrow $5 million damages plus $100,000 per month alimony. 

All set. Your uber ride is waiting outside.

This is artificial counter intelligence.