Jokes, Cartoons and Funny Stories. The Funniest stories to Laugh on and pass on... (Warning - may contain adult content)
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Thursday, January 27, 2011
Funny Letters & short Notes
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely, Unicorns
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear Boyfriend,
We can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
Sincerely,
Spiders
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
Dear Justin Bieber ,
Ariel would really love her voice back.
Sincerely,
King Triton
Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle
Dear Taylor Swift,
If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.
Sincerely,
Shakespeare
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God
Dear Rubik's Cube,
Done!
Sincerely,
Colorblind
Dear Santa,
Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.
Sincerely,
Tiger Woods
Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,
We. Can't. Breathe.
Sincerely,
Your Balls
Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo DiCaprio
Dear Romeo,
My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...
Sincerely,
Juliet
Dear Toaster,
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Sincerely,
Toast
Dear Edward Cullen,
I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.
Sincerely,
A stake
Thursday, January 20, 2011
What to do when a Shark Attacks !!
How many occassions in our life time do we not go have fun in that lovely vast wide ocean just because we fear those monster sharks coming behind us to attack and taste a bit of our butt flesh ?? Here are a few simple steps to follow to ensure that we do give our asses to those ugly big creatures.
Click on image for larger version if you find it hard to read !!!!
Oh.... And not forgetting, eat a load of Gralic before you jump to the sea. If all above said methods fail and if the ugly fellow manages to get to your butt..... You know what to do FOL for the fellows brains to pop out !!!!
FOL = Fart Our Loud !!!!!!
Click on image for larger version if you find it hard to read !!!!
Oh.... And not forgetting, eat a load of Gralic before you jump to the sea. If all above said methods fail and if the ugly fellow manages to get to your butt..... You know what to do FOL for the fellows brains to pop out !!!!
FOL = Fart Our Loud !!!!!!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Funny Penis Request !
Dear Management,
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1- I do physical labor
2- I work at great depths
3- I plunge head first into everything I do
4- I do not get weekends or public holidays off
5- I work in a damp environment
6- I don’t get paid overtime
7- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8- I work in high temperatures
9- My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
1- You can not work 8 hours straight
2- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3- You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4- You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
5- You do not take initiative — you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
6- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7- You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective gear
8- You will retire well before you are 65
9- You are unable to work double shifts
10- You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task
11- And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags
Sincerely,
The Management
Monday, January 10, 2011
Funny Cartoons for the new year !!!
Before sex, you help each other get naked!!
After sex, you only dress yourself.
After sex, you only dress yourself.
The Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you've been fucked
Here are some Classics to shake your rib cage - enjoy my freinds !!
What do you think you would do if a crocodile get's the better off you..
It could be the Great Wall of China, but, we might have to learn to walk this way if required..
A new way to kill those unwanted flies and mosquitos...
Oh God... what happened to the key hole ??
Tickle your senses before you leap off the mountains !!
Hell ya - the idiot wouldn't know ha ??
Well, I am gona try this with my seretary the next time when I get her to wear her Jacket...
Looking at Pussy will kill her doggy...
So, did you have a good laugh ?? Please share with freinds and don't forget to chech out a few adverts on the sides - you will benefit from them for sure..... Have a great day my friend... !!
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