The tigers Wedding

A tiger was getting married and all animals attended the wedding. Every animal stood
 at a distance and wished the tiger.

A cat came and climbed to the stage and danced, then extended his hand to wish the tiger.
The tiger roared in rage and said "how dare you come on the stage? Even the panther is maintaining its distance and yet you climbed the stage."

The cat replied and after listening to what the cat said, the tiger fainted. What do you think the cat said to the tiger?
Any guess?

a

The cat said, "I was also a tiger before I got married".

Pretty Italian Bride !

An Italian Guy has met a beautiful girl and gets engaged. 

He asks his mum if he can bring three women home for her to meet and she has to guess which is his chosen bride. His mum agrees. 

That night a big Italian Feast is prepared and the three women arrive and are all introduced to his mother. The night is long and they all appear to have a lot of fun. 

At the end of the night the son asks his mother which of the women have I chosen as my bride. 

The mother promptly replies without hesitation the one on the right. The son surprised says Mum how did you know ? 

She replies it's the one I didn't like ......

Ten Commandments of Marriage !

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven.
But then again, so is thunder and lightning. 

Commandment 2 
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. 

Commandment 3 
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand! 

Commandment 4 
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. 
 

Commandment 5 
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is. 

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 

Commandment 7 
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said .  After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. 

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife. 

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.
That is why one treats the other like toxic waste. 

Commandment 10 
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. 

BONUS STORY
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin
The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!'