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Wednesday, March 6, 2019
Funny Answers in Court of Law
These are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in Court, word for word, taken down and now published by Court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
__________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS : Did you actually pass the law exam?
__________
ATTORNEY : The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS : He's twenty, much like your IQ.
_________
ATTORNEY : Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS : Are you serious.
__________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY : How many were boys?
WITNESS : None.
ATTORNEY : Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________
ATTORNEY : How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS : By death.
ATTORNEY : And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS : Take a guess.
__________
ATTORNEY : Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY : Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS : Unless the Circus was in town, I'm going with male.
__________
ATTORNEY : Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS : All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
__________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS : The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY : And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS : If not, he was by the time I finished.
__________
And the best for the last..
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS : No.
ATTORNEY : How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY : But could the patient have still been alive?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
🤣🤣🤣
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