Geographically Punnier

Timmy : I'm Hungary.
Mum : Why don't you Czech the fridge?
Timmy : Okay, I'm Russian to the kitchen. 
Mum : Hmm ... maybe you'll find some Turkey. 
Timmy : Yeah, but its all covered in Greece. Yucks! 
Mum : There is Norway you can eat that.
Timmy : I know, I guess I'll just have a can of Chile.
Mum : Denmark your name on the can. 
Timmy : Kenya do it for me? 
Mum : Okay, I'm Ghana do it. 
Timmy : Thanks, I'm so tired - Iran for an hour today.
Mum : It Tokyo long enough. 
Timmy : Yeah, Israelly hard sometimes!

African at a Restaurant

An American man walked into a restaurant in London...

As soon as he entered, he noticed an African man sitting in the corner...


So he walked over to the counter, removed his wallet and shouted,

"Waiter! I am buying food for everyone in this restaurant, except that black African guy over there!"

So the waiter collected the money from the man and began serving free food to everyone in the
restaurant, except the African...


However, instead of becoming upset, the African simply looked up at the American and shouted, "Thank you!"

That infuriated the man !!

So once again, the American took out his wallet and shouted, "Waiter! This time I am buying bottles of wine and additional food for everyone in this bar, except for that African sitting in the corner over there!" 

So the waiter collected the money from the man and began serving free food and wine to everyone in the bar except the African.

When the waiter finished serving the food and drinks, once again, instead of becoming angry, the African simply smiled at the American man and shouted, "Thank you!"

That made the American man furious. So he leaned over on the counter and said to the waiter, "What is wrong with that African man? I have bought food and drinks for everyone in this bar except him, but instead of becoming angry, he just sits there and smiles at me and shouts 'Thank you.' Is he
mad???"

The waiter smiled at the American and said, "No, he is not mad. He is the owner of this restaurant...

Cheating wife

Some days ago, I came to know a  girl on the Internet. Beautiful...

After some chat, I felt that we had connected at a deeper level.

Yesterday, she asked me to visit her house and said, "My husband is on a business trip, and I'm alone at home."

I was very cautious and asked, "Will your husband suddenly come back?

She said, "No, but just in case he does, you just say that you are from UrbanClap and that your company sent you to clean the house. And then, clean the glass or something. 

Anyway, Christmas is around the corner.
My husband won't suspect a thing."

Fast forward, I was at her house. And what a big coincidence - Not even minutes in the house, her husband came back! 

I had to be quiet and pretend to do the cleaning, wiping windows, cleaning the kitchen and the floor. And also tidy the bedrooms and wash the bathrooms. All the while, her husband and she was next to me giving all kinds of ridiculous instructions.

When I had finished and was about to leave, her husband asked, 'How much?"

Even before I could utter a word, she said, "I have already paid the company." 

On the way home, I kept thinking about the whole saga. 
The more I thought about it, 
the more I felt DAMN cheated ....

Cleaners are hard to find, beware of the new scam...........