Military Coup in Turkey or what ?

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(I answer the phone in a Turkish Store. While working the register during holiday rush.)

Customer: “Hey, I made a several hundred dollar purchase a few days ago during the big sale. And I got a 20% off everything coupon today. Can I bring the coupon in and get 20% off my original purchase?”

(Is this a test? A recorded call from one of my superiors, because this cannot be serious.)

Me: “I’m sorry. That coupon is intended for your next purchase, not one that was already completed!”

Customer: “But I spent so much money! Can’t I just return everything and then re-buy everything with the coupon?”

Me: “I’m sorry. That is incredibly unlikely and will not work. That coupon is intended for the next purchase.”

Customer: “But I spent so much money… You sure?”

Me: “I’m pretty gosh darn positive. Have a nice day, though!”

(The lines were already backed up and I could not imagine if she honestly tried to bring everything back in and argued for the coupon discount!

Boobs In Church !

The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn't concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone else left the church.

When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice. "Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?"

"Why reverend," the young woman replied, "all of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts.."

"Hmm. Well let me check," said the reverend, placing his head between her tits. After several minutes, he raised his head and said, "I don't hear any angels singing!"

"Of course not, Reverend," she said. "You're not plugged in yet."