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Showing posts with label manager. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manager. Show all posts

Monday, July 8, 2019

Bank Robbery - Facts and Experiences

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During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month." 

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Young Girl in Hotel

Once an attractive young lady decides to celebrate her birthday by staying at a Luxury hotel.

The next day when the lady is checking out of the hotel, they give her a bill for $250/-. She is taken aback looking at the bill and starts fighting at the desk on such a big bill. The Manager comes in to end the ruckus with a customer.
He says ''Mam, we have so many facilities for our customer to use Free of cost such as Spa, Swimming pool, Gym etc., so that's why all the charges are included in it.''

The lady replies, but I have not used it, so why should i pay.

Manager says - That's your fault, but you have to pay.

The lady finally hands him over a cheque for $50.

The manager says this is only $50 what about the balance $200.

The lady replies, $200 for you sleeping and using me in the night.

Manager - But i haven't slept with you.

Lady - That's your fault, I was here full night and you could have used me, if you didn't, that's your fault.
 

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Funny, True Management Lessons !




There was this state bank robbery in Guangzhou, the robber shouted to everyone:
"Don't move, money belongs to the state, life belongs to you".
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly.
This is called:
"Mind Changing Concept & Changing the conventional way of thinking".

One lady, lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her,
"Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"
This is called:
"Being Professional & Focus only on what you are trained to do!"

When the robbers got back, the younger robber (MBA trained) told the older robber (who is only primary school educated),
"Big bro, let's count how much we got."
The older robber rebutted and said,
"You very stupid, so much money, how to count, tonight TV will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"
This is called:
"Experience & nowadays experience is more important than paper qualifications!"

After the robbers left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly.
The supervisor says,
"Wait, wait wait, let's put the 5 million RMB we embezzled into the amount the robbers robbed".
This is called:
"Swim with the tide & converting an unfavourable situation to your advantage!"
The supervisor says,
"It will be good if there is a robbery every month".
This is called:
"Killing Boredom & Happiness is most important."

The next day, TV news reported that 100 million RMB was taken from the bank.
The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count 20 million RMB.
The robbers were very angry and complained,
"We risked our lives and only took 20 million RMB, the bank manager took 80 million RMB with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated to be a thief!"
This is called:
"Knowledge is worth as much as gold !"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his loss in the CINOPEC shares are now covered by this robbery.
This is called:
"Seizing the opportunity & daring to take risks!"

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