Pakistani Johnny in USA School

A Pakistani Boy took admission in an American school

Teacher : What's your name ?
Boy : Nadir Teacher
Teacher : No, new you are in America, your name is Johnny from today.

Boy went home and started a general conversation with his mother on how things turned out that day and then the name change topic pops up... 

Mother : How was the day Nadir ?
Boy :  I am American now, So please call me Johnny.

The dad over heard the conversation and the argument that followed ended up with the boy getting beaten by both the parents.

The next day he was back at school all bruised...

Teacher : what happened Johnny ??
Boy : Madam, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani Terrorists. 

Keeping Family Safe !

I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood.

So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.

I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIS in its center.

Now, the Yorkshire police, the National Security Bureau, Scotland Yard,MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in Europe are all watching my house 24x7x365.

My children are followed to school every day and my wife when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day.

So no one bothers me at all.

I've never felt safer.

The Isis Crisis !

Cricket Joke for Cricketing Nations !

Thanks to my Indian Buddies for the joke !!

I was watching IPL match with my wife on the TV together. After five minutes:

Wife: Is that Bret Lee

Me : No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler.

Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies like his brother.

Me: He does not have an actor brother

Wife: What about Bruce Lee

Me: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian

Wife: OK. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes.

Me: No. It is called action replay.

Wife: Looks like India is going to win this one.

Me: It is not India. It is Bangalore vs Kolkatta

Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a helicopter.

Me: He is not calling for a helicopter. It’s a free hit.

Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a ‘ free’ hit?

Wife: Now whom is he saying ‘HI’ to?

Me : He is signalling a ‘Bye’.

Wife: Why is he saying ‘Bye’. Is the game over?

Wife: How many runs to win?

Me : 72 in 36 balls

Wife: Ah. That is easy. Just 2 runs in 1 ball

I Just turned off the TV .

Wife turns it on and watches ‘Balika Badhu’

Me: Who is this Anandi?

Wife: Tumhari Maa. Don’t you dare disturb me!!