What to tell and What not to tell at Job Interviews !

Share the laughter with your friends...

A boss interviewed 4 girls for a secretarial position .....
He asked the same question to each one of them.

Boss: "A woman normally has lips in 2 different places. What's the difference between the two?

First Girl: "One is hairy, the other isn't " .....Boss: "OK.. good!"

Second Girl: One can talk but the other can't ".... Boss: "that's better!"

Third Girl: "One is vertical & the other is horizontal "..... Boss: "Hmm.. clever!"

Last Girl: "One is for me & the other is for my Boss ".

Boss: "You are hired !🤪

'I HATE MY JOB DAY'

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When you have an 'I HATE MY JOB DAY'

Try this out:

Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase 
a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favourite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small print there is this statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF APAIN IN THE ARSE THAN YOURS!

if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...

Maybe you should go and work for Johnson and Johnson - after all testing is carried out by some interesting people (as the one below)

Scratching Balls !

 

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"

"This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."