Share on Social Media pls..
Test 1:
Wife buys 12 under wears of same colour for hubby..🔻
Hubby- Why same colour sweetheart. people will think I never change my underwear.
Wife- Which people❓😡😡😡
Total silence...😳😁😖😷
Test 2:
A couple sees a hot girl.. 😍💃💃
Wife: So big, aren't they? 😳😳
Husband: Yes 👀
Wife: Are they artificial?
Husband: I think natural. 😎😎
Wife: Ear-rings & Natural??
Total Silence 😐😐😐
Test 3:
Men will always be Men Even if they are Indian...
Once a group of men decided to go for Tirth Yatra - a ritual practiced in India. Their guide explained to them that they might see some ladies bathing in open and they should not get distracted at all.
When they see anything like that, they should just say HARI OM and move on.
Next day they started the yatra and one of the men in the group said- "HARI OM" ...
The rest of them said- "WHERE WHERE!" 😆😆😆... 😅
Jokes, Cartoons and Funny Stories. The Funniest stories to Laugh on and pass on... (Warning - may contain adult content)
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Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Monday, August 14, 2017
Friday, May 5, 2017
Husband and Wife Goes Jogging
Early morning husband wakes up and asks his wife: "Would you like to join me for jogging?"
Wife: "Ohh.....! So you mean to say I am fat?"
Hubby: "No. Jogging is good for health."
Wife: "Oh.. that means I am sick."
Hubby: "No No. If you don't want to get up, then it's OK."
Hubby: "NO. You are misunderstanding me. I didn't mean..."
Wife: "Aha! So I don't understand you because I'm an illiterate, right?"
Hubby: "Now look I didn't say that."
Wife: "So am I lying? "
Hubby: "I beg you plz don't stretch it in the morning."
Wife: "Oh, now so I am a quarrelsome nag, am I?
HUBBY: "OK OK.. You go off to sleep. I am going jogging alone.. Happy Now??"
Hubby: "Plz Plz.. I am feeling giddy now.."
Wife: "See? You are so selfish. Always think of yourself alone. You never think of my health."
Husband is sitting and thinking where he went wrong!!!
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
Mental Asylum
Rod and Kate were both patients in a mental hospital..
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Rod suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Kate promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Kate's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Kate the news she said: 'Kate, I have good news and bad news.
The good news is you're being discharged since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love.
I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is that Rod hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Kate replied (you'll love this) .
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry'
Head Nurse still recovering!!!
😂😂😂
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
BEST MARRIAGE COUNCILOR EVER !
Betty had convinced herself that she was unhappily married…! After much introspection, she ultimately confronted her loving husband Bob with the suggestion that they seek marriage guidance counselling. After 25 years of matrimony, she felt the magic had gone from their marriage. Bob’s real passion had become Lawn Bowls and no longer her! Ever willing to please, Bob conceded.
After introductions and pleasantries and being seated in the handsome young guidance councillor’s very comfortably furnished rooms, he turned solemnly to Betty and enquired of her what she felt the problem was. Betty launched unreservedly into a passionate, painful tirade… listing every personal problem she perceived she and Bob had ever encountered in their 25 years of married life. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing the oratory to continue for an ample length of time, the analyst arose, walked around the desk, looked pensively at Betty and after asking her to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, placed his large, soft, warm hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, whilst kissing her passionately, as her bemused husband Bob watched with interest!
Highly aroused, Betty was finally speechless. Blushing profusely, she buttoned up her blouse and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of the councilors attentive actions.
The councilor returned to his seat, sat down, turned to Bob, looked him square in the eyes and calmly said: 'Bob, this is what your wife needs, at least three times a week…can you do this?'
Bob thought pensively for a moment and then replied enthusiastically, 'Well yes, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays…...But on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays I play bowls!
Friday, February 13, 2015
Wives Love their Husbands !
A group of women were at a seminar on “How to live in a loving relationship with your husband”.
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.
"When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered today, a few yesterday and some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."
The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read aloud the text
message they received, in response.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Who the hell is this?
2. Are you sick or what?
3. Love you too. What's up with you??
4. What now? Have you crashed the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What the f**k did you do now?
7. You're kidding me?
8. Don't bullshit me. How much do you need.
9. Are you for real?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is really for, someone will pay!
11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.
12. Your mother’s coming to stay with us, isn't she?
Monday, November 15, 2010
The Italian Lover
A virile, middle aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?"
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."
Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion.
The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?"
Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No."
Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied. Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.
Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, "You finish?"
Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispers in his ear,
"No, I am Swedish ."!!!!
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