Black Panties for those who Mourn !

Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hadn't gotten out of her mourning stage.

Her daughter was constantly calling and urging her to get back into the world.

Finally, Karen says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.

Her daughter immediately replies: 'Mom, I have someone for you to meet.'

Well, when it did happen, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another. And after dating for six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend away.

On their first night there, she undresses ... as he does. There she stood - nude ... except for a pair of Black Panties, while he was in his birthday suit.

Looking at her, he asks: 'Why the black panties?

She replies: 'My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I'm still in mourning.'

He knows he's not getting lucky that night.

The following night it was the same scenario. She's standing there with the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit ... Except that he is wearing a black condom.

She looks at him and asks: 'What's with this black condom?'
He replies: 'I want to offer my deepest condolences'

Family Matters Solved !

Technical Difference
1.between Welding and Wedding ..
In Welding there are Sparks first and Bonding Forever, whereas...
in Wedding there is Bonding first and Sparks Forever ...

2. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
You can be sure of one thing;
Either the car is new or the wife.

3. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,... Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.

4. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack our driver ran away...

5. A young boy asks his Dad :"What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential !!!

The Milk Man !

A milkman dying in hospital is surrounded by his two sons, daughter, his wife and the nurse.

He says to his eldest son, "To you Peter, I leave the Beverly houses."

To his daughter, "My pretty Rose, to you I leave the apartments in the Los Angeles Plaza."

"And Charlie, you being my youngest son, I leave you the City Center offices".

And to his wife, "Darling, you get the three residential towers downtown."

The wide-eyed nurse, obviously impressed, tells his wife, "Madam, your husband is very rich! And what's great is he is bequeathing all his properties to his family. You are all so lucky!!"

The wife retorts,"Rich??? Lucky??? Are you kidding me!!?? Those are the routes where he delivers milk!!"

Funny Dating on Internet !

Girl: Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in Ghana and he lives in UK.We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp,he proposed to me on skype, and now we've had 2 months of relationship through viber.I need ur blessings and good wishes daddy ..................

Dad said: Wow! Really!! then get married on twitter, have fun on tango. Buy your kids on e-bay, send them thru gmail. And if you are fed up with your husband.... sell him on amazon.......